One Day

It's finally starting to hit me that I'm leaving for like, a year (or more!) and that I won't be able to hang out with people the same way when I get back as I did before I left. And it makes me a little sad, but people move on with their lives, we make new friends and find circles to hang out with and do stuff with. Life goes on. With or without you.

I will miss the RPG club parties in particular. They were always fun, and I always felt welcome and -I don't know if this is the right word- safe. Like I could just relax, since there was never this feeling that I needed to impress anyone or conform to anyone. I could say anything and do anything and I would simply be accepted for that. Parties were always fun. I always wanted to stay longer.

But today was my last day of hanging out with people, and it's made me realize that hey, I'm leaving, and hey, I have pretty awesome friends down here (and in general). I'm going to miss everyone. It hasn't quite felt like I was just packing up all my stuff and shipping off to a foreign place until now. O.A.R. does a song called "One Day" that epitomizes the fear that I've been trying to push away by not thinking about how I'm up and moving my life to somewhere new. The people who I know will help pick me up again if I fall, they'll be thousands (thousands!) of miles away where all they can do is listen, if that (thanks to time differences). I know JET has a fantastic support network. And I'm sure I'll make friends. But the thought that this chapter of my life is ending, and the characters I've met and befriended in this part may or may not end up in the rest of my story makes me want to go "Hey wait! Pause! I'm not done with this part of the game yet! I haven't done all the sidequests and I want our friendship to stay the same!" A naive, and wishful thought.

As my room slowly empties, it gets harder and harder. It is as if each thing I pack is literally packing away my precious memories of this place, my friends, and everything that has made me love San Diego. Cause I'm not going to lie, but this place wouldn't be the same without the people I've befriended. It almost makes me wary about returning to here after we've all dispersed (or well, probably not all but a lot of us).

Here is to you, my friends, for a kickass awesome five years. Thank you for the memories - and may we make more of them in the future. I will miss you.

Love, Jess