Mu-friggin-kade

Mukade are the poisonous (giant) centipedes in Japan. While there have been stories about people dying from these bug bites, most of the stories end up with people getting sick and horrendous scars.

Either way, I don't want one of those things touching me.

I found one in my sink today tough. Anyone who's seen me and bugs interact (more like me running away from bugs) knows that I scream. Loudly.

Thank god that they don't move as fast as cockroaches. Or jump. Or fly. I think I would have cried if they did.

I got back home and I was being all productive, doing my laundry, washing the dishes in my sink... when I noticed something moved from under my dishes. That something looked like mukade legs.

Naturally, I freaked out, but stopped just shy of being completely useless. THank lord I found it in my sink. I turned the water to almost the hottest (the hottest would have just been a small trickle, and I wanted full on like, lots of water) and sprayed it so that it slid back under the frying pan, and kept the water on so it couldn't come out. Every so often I would fill a cup with more water and pour it around the sides, just in case.

I had heard somewhere that you're supposed to boil it in water, and figured, that no way in hell was I getting close enough to pick it up. Pouring boiling water over it was going to have to suffice - and someone said later that it's actually what you're supposed to do. We ridiculed this at first, saying "we'll never have the time to boil water if there's a mukade in our places." Ha. Ha. Ha.

God bless hot water boilers. Scalding water in less than a minute. Beautiful. I poured it around the drain thing and refilled the pot and boiled more water.

I didn't see it after a while, so I was hoping it was dead. By hoping, I mean, some rational part of me figured it was dead but the more dominant, completely irrational part was like OMG IT'S STILL ALIVE. I also have that kinda small problem that well.... I don't want to get within arm's reach of the thing, let alone touch it. So I left the water running (god my bill is going to be high this month) and ran to fetch one of the students that live either across from me or the boys dorm. After cautiously checking my shoes for more mukade, I ran outside, looking slightly hysterical. There were two girls just kinda sitting there checking their cell phones. I don't remember which school they went to. I know they're not first or second years at Takahashi. They might be from Jounan (the other school I teach) but I'm not sure.

My conversation with the two girls in front of the dorm went something like this:
Me: 男の人がありますか？　「Are there any boys here?」 (yeah, I realize now I totally used the verb for inanimate things. Oopsie).
Girls: Eh? なぜ？「Why?」
Me: 台所でむかでがあります！SINK の中で。「There's a (MOTHERFUKKIN) mukade in my kitchen! In the sink! OMFG」
Girls: ... *run to put on shoes* (I thought they were gonna go to get the boys) *run over to my house*
Me: EHHH? 大丈夫ですか？
Girls: DAIJOUBUYO~
Me: O_____________O 皿の下で！「It's under the dishes! I'M REALLY SORRY IT'S SUPER DIRTY」
Girls: *run inside after customary "Sorry for intruding on your house but Jessica forgot the japanese word ness"*
Me: 一番下！！

(Note: the above is a paraphrasing of what happened)
At this point, they were lifting up the pot and pan that was in my sink (I hadn't done dishes for two days) and I caught a glimpse of mukade and SCREAMED super loud. The girls were quick to assure me that it was dead. They were all, "IT'S DEAD IT'S DEAD." I think that's what 死ぬ means anyways. I still freaked out. I think this amused them. I think they might have said "dead" in English too.

Then they picked it up with (my favorite pair of) chopsticks and asked if I had a tissue. There was a moment where they debated where to put it. I kinda motioned towards where the paper towels were. They wrapped it up and I think took it with them, bless their souls. I'm so thankful they didn't put it in my garbage can. I think they figured since I had freaked out at them picking it up and just from looking at it that leaving it inside my house was probably not the best idea.

Ugh, the idea of being able to feel the body through the paper towels grosses me out though.

But yeah. That was my mukade adventure that I never want to have again (though if I have to find mukade again I'd rather it be in my sink where I can pour water over it). I mean, I never want to have any mukade experiences ever again. Unfortunately, I don't think that will be the case. They said mukade come out with rainy weather. It's rainy now. Crap.

I'm stuck in this weird limbo of I really want to clean but I really don't want to clean because I might find more bugs which means that it would be better to clean, じゃろ？

Looks like I'm sleeping in the mesh tent again tonight.