Goodbyes

I've been trying to write something for at least a week, in between giving goodbye speeches, saying farewells, and attempting to procrastinate on packing and cleaning. But I don't know - for some reason it's been hard to write. I haven't quite been able to find the right words. Are there really ever "right words" though?

Anyways.

Where has time gone?

It seems like just last year, I came to Japan, and just yesterday I got to know all the amazing students, teachers, and people in my sweet town.

The last few weeks have been my last week of classes and a bunch of goodbye speeches to people; it was something of a bittersweet moment, though I suppose, mostly just sad, since it meant no longer having classes and that seeing and talking to students was going to get way way way more difficult (or highly improbable in some cases), as well as some of the last times I went to some schools.

I will say this though, about my stint in Japan. Realistically, I don't think I could do this line of work (being an ALT) for my whole life, let alone a couple more years. It's fun and interesting to work with so many teachers - and some are amazing to work with - but I would really enjoy having more control over the class schedule and everything, I think, without having to worry about also going to four other schools. That being said, if I had to choose whether or not to do this again, I'd choose yes in a heartbeat.

The people that I've met here are, quite simply, amazing. Out of everything in Japan, I will miss them the most.

I've had a whole week of goodbye speeches, and I have had them all the way from July 17th until last monday, the 23rd. I managed to make it through all the speeches without crying (something I'm kind of proud of) and have only cried in public once, when a student also started crying. It gets me every time, when I see other people crying, especially students I really liked. Even the students I wasn't especially fond of, it was quite touching to see them get sad. I don't know what it says about me, but to be honest, it's kind of a relief to see them sad that I'm going, and so many of them. I mean, it's really nice to know that I did part of my job (the exchange part) well enough to where people are sad to see me go. It feels kind of mean saying that though, saying that I'm kind of glad they were sad.

The funny thing is, I think I stopped being really sad about this whole thing. I mean, I am sad. But I don't really *feel* anything about it. Mostly, just a kind of... panic, since my plans have been, uh, "evolving" for quite some time and I don't really know where I'm going after August 1st until August 7th. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Originally, I meant to go Thailand. Then Thailand was stupidly expensive. Same with Okinawa. Part of that was my own fault for waiting for so long. Then I thought about going to Tottori to dive, or Shikoku. But they don't have English places there, AND no dives on the days I'm actually free. What a pain.

So I'm not really sure. My big back up plan is, I guess to stay in Okayama? I don't know. I'm kind of worried about not being able to find a place to stay if I travel somewhere.

Also, a couple of the people I've wanted to see one more time for dinner, or for drinks or something... scheduling has been kind of hard. I originally wasn't planning on being back in Okayama, but now apparently I might be around for the Momotaro Matsuri? One of the days someone is free is on the 6th and I was like "...I wasn't really planning on being here... but sure." I dunno. For me, meeting up with people, seeing people and stuff.... soemtimes is a little bit more important than traveling around on my own. I wish I had been more organized with planning my stuff though. Mostly because it's such a giant pain to try to find hostels last minute here, especially in the summer. I mean, good grief! You basically *have to* have your stuff all planned out if you're doing anything that might possibly require a reservation.

Kind of a giant pain, if you ask me.

The whole "not going to be living in Takahashi anymore" thing is all kind of... surreal though. I was packing and I closed my suitcase and stuff so that I could vacuum (I was finding tiny ants D: ...those are better than big ants though, right?) and my room just looked rather empty. I haven't really ventured much outside the room since it's been ridiculously hot and humid outside my air conditioned sanctuary; I walked from my room to the bathroom and started to sweat.

Absolutely ridiculous.

I passed a sign today on my short but incredibly fun and food-filled trip (like all we did was eat and look at cows and take pictures of stuff) that said the temperature was 37C. Which is really hot, but then you add in humidity and it's kind of like "omg kill me now" kind of feeling. That's 98.6F. Nearly 99F, which is practically 100 F. Stupidly hot. I will be quite glad to get back to dry california heat.

Oh Japan. Oh Takahashi. I will miss you though, despite your stupid bugs and stupid heat and humidity (also stupid). I will miss seeing students in the conbinis. Conbinis themselves. Randomly running into students and having them say hello. The mountains. The scenery near the river. The seasons. The special things that come out with the seasons, like special flavors and foods. The colors in autumn. The snow in the winter. Your silly delayed trains in extreme weather. Kakigori/shaved ice. Soft cream. Tonkatsu. Doria and gratin, you ridiculously unhealthy things you. Festivals/matsuris. Stall food. Yakisoba. Milk tea. Collectable crap on the top of plastic bottles. Your pardoxically clean streets despite the ridiculous lack of garbage cans. Chuhai and delicious fruity cocktails and the lack of social stigma when you drink those over beer. Nomihoudai-all-you-can-drink places! Karaoke. Shaved ice again. All-night karaoke. The amazing JETs I met here. The other amazing foreigners I met here. The amazing Japanese people I met here. My JTEs. Super nice students. Geeking out about video games and having a completely legit venue to do it in. The fresh veggies from people. The nice teachers at my school. Onsen. Oh man, onsen. Kakigori (shaved ice) again (I really love that stuff). Gyoza! Beef bowls for super cheap! Crazy McDonald's things. The sheer amount of things you can collect. The "specialty food" for each area. Deep tubs. The sense that the unknown is out there, just waiting to be explored. I mean, I suppose that's there too, since I won't know much about the city I'm moving to. It'll just be a more urban sense.

Point is, I'm going to miss this place. It's the longest I've ever lived in one spot, and I've grown rather fond of it and the people in Okayama Prefecture. My home away from home, kind of, with all its bugs and humidity. :)

I say this with a smile, because right now my AC is on and my room is deliciously cool. Mmm, cool.