on changing ALTs

Today, I had an impromptu English club meeting with the former-first-years-new-second-years who are super into English and are some of the sweetest girls ever. We were talking about what to do in club and the topic of what to do for culture festival came up and they were like "hmmmmmmm" in the kind of I'm not really sure way, but then I remembered that when I first came to Takahashi, they had me put up a bunch of pictures and it was kind of like a welcome/get to know the new ALT kind of thing in English club. Maybe I can do something like say goodbye... or something. Or maybe I can skype with them. :) That would be super fun!

But yeah, I remembered this and then casually kind of said "Oh yeah! But you guys are probably going to have a new ALT in August so by culture festival you'll probably be able to do things like pictures and so on." I completely forgot though that I hadn't actually told them that I wasn't recontracting and that I was going to be leaving in August.

The looks on their faces nearly crushed my soul. Mostly it was shock. One student (bless her) responded immediately with "No." I was like awww. So much love for my students. They're kind of awesome. I always get a tiny bit jealous when other ALTs receive ridiculously cute things from their students (since I have a nagging self-doubt that goes "DO THEY NOT LIKE ME?!" which is probably ridiculous also).

But that was kind of touching, while also making me feel ridiculously guilty. Then they told me that I had to stay until culture festival haha, and that it was probably in the beginning of August. Bless them, but I think it's around the beginning of September, not August. I'd love to go but in all likelihood, I will be not in Okayama and probably in the US by the time that starts.

Then we talked about the meaning of "Make every moment count" haha.

I suppose - and a couple of friends have pointed out - that it's probably better for them to find out sooner rather than dropping a bomb on them the last day. I really hate telling people though... I was kind of planning on telling people that I was leaving right before I left and then woosh, disappear. I don't really like goodbyes. I never know what to say, and I feel really awkward when when all the attention is directed on me (especially if it's positive attention for some reason). That's why when I left my last job, I didn't really tell anyone and just kind of... disappeared on my last day (or tried to haha).