Mad World

First, on a random note. They're making croquettes on TV on Cardcaptor Sakura (super oldschool!) and it's making me hungryyyy and I kind of want to fry something in oil now like how they're doing it on tv. *_* Mmm... like maybe riceballs. Oh man. Like the ones we had at South Campus's culture festival! It was AMAZING!

It's also kind of interesting, some of the characters on tv are ridiculously pale. I didn't notice that before I came to Japan and saw how some of the women here try to keep themselves really pale by employing long sleeved shirts and leggings in the middle of freaking summer. Crazy people, I tell you.

Anyways, on a more serious note and Japanese stereotypes (well, really high school stereotypes), this week at one of my schools, there was this girl who the teachers told me couldn't talk. I assumed that she had lost her voice or something, so I asked if she was sick. She, of course, didn't say anything; neither did the teacher. As she reached out to grab something, I noticed that her arm was bandaged, from mid-arm to her palm like a wrist protector thing. Naively, I thought it was because she was ill and had to get shots or something there, so I told her "I hope you feel better soon!"

As she walked away, I asked the teacher if she had a cold or something or had lost her voice or something, and what the bandages on her arm were for. She replied that this student was indeed a little sick... mentally. According to the teacher, they were there because she had tried to cut her wrists.

I couldn't believe my ears. My first instinct was to try to hug the girl, since she was one of the girls whose face I recognized and whose English was pretty decent. She was nice, did her work, and did it well, so I was really surprised that she felt driven to do that. I don't know anything about the student's lives at home, and I don't visit this school very often, but in class she never seemed like anything was that wrong. It also seemed like she had friends in class, but then again, what do I know outside of oral communication?

It was kind of scary that one of my students had almost killed herself. I can remember being in high school; not one of the most pleasant times in my life, and while I might have had musing and thoughts, I never actually got *that* close to doing the deed. But I've got an idea what it's like to drop that low. I wanted to tell this student that she wasn't alone, that no matter what's going on right now in her life it will get better later on. That I can almost promise. That she was an amazing person (and her english was really good!) and beautiful. That I'm glad for the chance to have been able to teach her.

They told us at one of the orientations, half jokingly half really really not, that it does happen and that we should be careful about using the game "hangman" cause once someone did that and one of their students had actually recently hung himself. It still makes me really sad to think about though, and makes me wonder about my other students. Other than that I don't really know what to think or how to react, apart from just going on (since seriously, I won't be back at that school for maybe a month, or at least two more weeks). I really do hope though - if I were religious, I would pray - that she find happiness in unexpected places and that whatever was bringing her down gets better.

On a more upbeat note, I finally shot arrows at the range today! A whole three arrows! Just in time because I'm not going to shoot for a while since they have exams, which means no club activities for two weeks. Sigh. But two of my favorite kyuudo students helped and kind of coached me with where I should aim. I ran into them on the train coming back one day with some other ALTs, and they told me that it looked like they had to really work up the courage to come talk to me. I was super touched haha. We talked for like... a while until I had to get off the train (and I found myself wanting to ride all the way to the next station so I could keep talking). When they wear their hakama, or kyuudo uniform, I swear one of them looks like a Japanese character straight out of an anime.

I still missed, despite the help aiming. The second arrow I shot nearly hit the roof, it was so high. But HOORAY I FINALLY ACTUALLY SHOT MORE THAN ONE ARROW AT PRACTICE.

They told me too, that one of the words on their quiz that day had been "aim." One kid told me that he definitely had not put that as his answer hahaha, and asked me to teach him more words lol. If only I were at that school more often. I love the second years there, especially since there's a bunch of them in kyuudo. They're a bunch of goofballs, but they're also kind. This year's students are interesting too, but I just feel like last year was more... responsive. And understood English better. This bunch is lively, but I spoke to them today and got the blank stare wall. That was... fun. But they enjoyed the game we played at least! Shame I can't just keep playing games the whole time. Oh well!

Finally though, IT'S A THREE DAY WEEKEND WOOOOO~

Time to be... broke haha.